Two boats…

When I got married our pastor gave us a model car during the ceremony (I was 18 and he was 20 it was relevant to us, I guess he was attempting to meet us where we were at) He explained to us that marriage was Like getting into the same car and driving the ups and downs of life together…

If marriage is a Sunday drive, divorce has been like hitting a blockade in the road, tumbling front over back until both of our heads were spinning and neither of us knew which direction we were going, landing in a river and falling deeper into the rapids until that car is long gone as we individually attempt to keep our heads above water. At times we have used each other as a stepping stone to catch our breath as the rapids of life pulled us down…

coming up out of the water the only way to survive is to find our boat to continue through the rapids alone… sometimes heading in the same direction, often heading apart.

We forgot something important though… The most important thing…

we had passengers along for our ride and as we were trying to keep ourselves above the water they fell deeper and deeper watching their parents fight for their lives above…

finally a break in the water and we are in our own boats but we still have our passengers in between being tugged and torn as our boats attempt to separate and go our own way…

sometimes they collide together as we each give way and attempt to take control but those passengers are still in the middle and they are the ones hurt in the collision. They are the ones shielding themselves from damage. They are the victims. The casualties of our circumstances. The innocence of our war. The buffer between our boats.

My way is not the right way. Your way is not the right way. There is no winning when we collide and fight for control. There is only pain and suffering for the little ones below. We can not control each other’s boats. We can not direct the others path. We can not win with force. It is a talent of give and take that will bring our children to where they need to go in order to find their own boat, their own life, their own control…

neither of us can be in complete control. I have one paddle and he has the other. Though we may have our own boats and even our own back seat drivers they do not hold an oar, only we do and we have to give way to each other in order to keep what we tow from getting wet and getting destroyed by the rocks in between. We haven’t been doing a very good job. Maybe we never will. I can only paddle my boat and hope that some day you will try to work together for the damage we are doing is not of our own boats but of their future they themselves will have to survive in the damaged sinking boats we have provided and modeled for them…

God help us all the falls are coming.

One thought on “Two boats…

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