Triggers and negativity

I want to thank the anonymous person or persons (though I highly suspect it to be a single person, one of the people I have already eliminated from my inner circle for this same toxicity) for the opportunity to work through some of my own triggers by spewing their own anger, hate and negativity in the comments of my blog.

I will reiterate that your opinion is not my problem.

The healing and work to be done with my children is of no concern to anyone but me, them, and the professionals I have already reached out and set appointments for in order to facilitate that healing.

Nothing I have written in my blogs are directed at my children, not that I have to explain anything to the likes of you but they are children, my children and my words are directed at adults. Adults who should behave like adults and be healthy enough to recognize that anonymously commenting the very same hate and anger you are condemning on a person’s blog who is working hard at healing, growing and moving  forward is unhealthy and unproductive.

If you’re reading my blogs you know my intentions. Nothing more, nothing less and if you see something else then you are projecting your own darkness and poor intentions and I will not take responsibility for your interpretation of who I am.

This will be the last time I address you or any other negativity and I only do it to show others you do not have to own the negativity other people put on you. I did not approve the rest of the rude comments written as you hide behind the keyboard meant to evoke a reaction, this is your only reaction from now on. If you want to say mean things and stand behind what you say by identifying yourself then by all means I’ll approve them for all to see but until then keep your immaturity far away from me

Shortly after reading the initial negative message I had a group on emotions. Identifying emotions and learning how to take an inventory of what I am feeling in order to remain in control of those feelings and not let them control me. I read my blog to the group and expressed the hurt that I was feeling from this one persons comments despite the dozens of positive uplifting messages I am receiving this one little negative comment affected me but you know what it will not control me or live inside of me.

When getting a negative comment it’s important to self reflect and see if there is anything constructive or productive that can come from it. If not, discard it and do not allow it into your heart.

if you struggle, like me with letting go of things that evoke an emotional reaction, consider the source. Seems simple but seriously consider the source. Ask yourself: Is this a person who loves you? Is this a person who is emotionally healthy themselves? Is this person acting out of good intentions or their own emotional reaction?

Before responding to any negativity: stop. Think. Then react and remember, “no response is a response and a powerful one”

I also got a message that gave me a lot of hope from a person who grew up with a mother who had similar demons as me and gave me the best advice as not only a child of depression but a professional themselves that I wanted to share for any other mothers struggling like me:

“my mom struggled with her mental health and spent several separate occasions inpatient for similar reasons. As a kid, the rhetoric and dialogue surrounding me was very much in the vein of “how could she do this to her children,” “she must not be working very hard in therapy,” “maybe she doesn’t want to be happy” blah blah blah. So, I also adopted those same thoughts. I was mad at her, and blamed her. It wasn’t until years later while going to school to be a counselor did I learn how unfortunate those thoughts were- for my mom, myself, my family. I felt horrible for blaming her. I wished someone in my life would have taken the time to explain mental health to me from a more unbiased stance. I wished people would have lifted my mom up in a time of need instead of bringing her down more. I wish I would have been told about the seasons of mental health; to learn that it all passes – the dark days, the darker days, and even the sunny days.

You do a great job advocating, educating, and and informing others about what you’re dealing with, what’s helpful to your healing, and what’s not helpful. Hang in there with your girls; it’s a lot to wrap their developing minds around. And while you can’t control what other people say to them, you are good with words, and can explain to them what you’re going through; that you’re not doing something to them, but rather working through something yourself.

You’re a good mom, and a good person. The sun will shine again.” – I’ll keep this person anonymous unless they request to be identified but it was from a kind hearted friend from childhood

Identifying what comments and feelings live in our heart is pivotal in maintaining a healthy mindset and moving forward from the hurt and anger.

One day at a time. One trigger at a time. While your yesterday may have been filled with the storm of darkness each day gives birth to a new opportunity to be better, do better and to make changes. Even if others want to hold you to who you were yesterday every new experience changes us and we get to decide if that change is positive or negative. We also get to decide what we allow in our life and who we let affect us. Take back your power and stop giving it to those who intend to destroy you and keep you stunted just as they are. Don’t let them bring you back down.

Last thought for the night:

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can not overcome it..” – John 1:5

 

 

4 thoughts on “Triggers and negativity

  1. Obviously the negative comments came from someone that truly don’t understand mental illness. When I was in 10th grade I let the darkness get a hold of me. Luckily I was not successful and had a friend that understood the signs, that reached out to a guidance counsler at school. Which in return contacted my parents and at that moment my parents punished me. Just shows they didn’t understand.
    Moral of my long story is anyone can say I understand mental illness but, they truly don’t unless they to let the darkness grab a hold of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was 19 my mom attempted suicide. My very first reaction was anger. How could she do this to me! I was so hurt…but I came to forgive her. I had some processing to do. She was at Pine Rest for several weeks, and outpatient therapy for a year. It was amazing the positive changes I saw. That was 35 years ago and she has never gone to that dark place again. I know you will get through this and be a better, stronger person. Love and Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Prayers Jessie I understand depression all too well and I don’t have a situational thing going on I think it’s the chemicals in my brain and I can tell you that meds have side effects and every now and again I’ll go off them only to fall back into the darkness. I hate that I need medication and there are days I feel like I must be weak. Anyhow keep up the good work with professionals and I’ll continue praying for you

    Liked by 1 person

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