Choose kindness

I’m a sensitive person…

I’m overly emotional and care deeply about many things others don’t.

It’s part of who I am. Who I’ve always been.

It’s also a side effect of long term demyelination of the neurons in my brain from Multiple Sclerosis.

I try to ignore things.

I try to not let things bother me.

I try not to over react.

I try to just let things roll off my back because they truly are not important and I know this.

I try to remember where these things come from, consider the source. It’s not someone I respect. It’s not someone who is important to me.

It’s not someone who has any valid reason for treating me the way he does and I think that’s what bothers me so much.

I’ve done everything I am suppose to when faced with a bully.

I’ve ignored him.

I’ve addressed the issue with him.

I’ve stood my ground and told him to knock it off.

Yet still somehow he feels the need to target me and make fun of my sensitive emotions.

Recently he went too far.

It’s not funny to make fun of a grieving person.

It’s not funny to laugh at another person’s pain.

At what point do you address the problem with a manager or HR?

At what point do you seek assistance from others?

I’ve already made the decision to leave my department and am actively seeking employment elsewhere due to medical reasons.

But at what point do you take a stand and say, “this is not okay” and speak up so that another person does not fall victim to the unnecessary targeted attacks and the complete refusal to address the problem directly.

Why is it okay for you to make puns and laugh at my expense but when I confront you about it you ignore my questions and refuse to take responsibility for your actions. Pretending that I’m crazy or too sensitive or that you have no idea what I am talking about.

I am smart.

I am kind.

I am caring.

I’ve tried to look at things from your perspective and understand why you would feel the need to target me, but I can’t.

I first thought, wow he works so hard and so much for his family I can’t even imagine how stressed out he must be working two jobs and never getting a break.

But that’s not an excuse to take it out on those around you.

Now you only work the one job and you are nice to everyone else. But still you continue to target me for whatever reason…

Then I thought well maybe something about me makes him insecure…

but you are a smart, capable nurse who has a beautiful wife and adorable kids who seem pretty great not to mention you are kind and compassionate toward your patients when you want to be and seem to have a great group of work family and friends who support you… what about me and my broken home would cause any kind of insecurities in you?

Nothing…

It’s a puzzle I can’t seem to put together.

You are a big man who is acting like a very small pathetic insecure person and you are better than that.

And those of you who laugh along with him and think what he does is harmless fun are part of the problem.

You never know what a person is going through.

You never know the damage words can do.

You never know exactly what will send a person over the edge or what may hurt them and to intentionally target a person and take pleasure in mocking their grief and emotional state is not okay.

You don’t know me or what I deal with on a daily basis and while I make every effort to not give you the power you are grasping at by bullying me it does bother me and it does make me sad.

Does it make you feel better to tear another person down?

Does it make you feel stronger to point out another’s perceived weakness due to emotions?

Clearly you have no idea how much strength it takes to own your emotions. To speak your feelings and to self reflect takes a lot of strength. And it takes even more strength to address a bully in a room full of the same people who laugh and mock you behind your back who hide behind the internet to do so and refuse to face you in person.

I will not feel weak or insecure because you choose to target me based off my emotional state and ability to articulate my feelings and thoughts into words…

I choose to write this and address your actions publicly in order to bring light to a problem that I have stood quiet for far too long on because soon I will no longer be available for you to target and the next person you choose to pick on may not be as strong as I am and I would hate to feel responsible for not standing up and speaking out leaving you to your destructive pattern of bullying.

Enough is enough. Back off and find something more productive to do with your time. No one deserves to be treated the way you treat me.

Rob, you’re better than how you are behaving. Please stop.

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