Social media

A peak inside our private lives or a spotlight on our slight of hand trying to hide the imperfections of our complicated lives?!

I’ve spent a lot of time this past year unveiling the ugly truth of my life and the secrets I held for far too long.

I’ve spent just as much time attempting to resolve the idea that I should give the slightest damn about what people think about me, my life or my intentions.

I’ve spent most of my life pleasing everyone but me. Worried about what people would think if I didn’t do it all, have it all or be it all for everyone else.

My children have had quite the culture shock as I journey into my new life and explore exactly who I am and what I enjoy instead of living through their every whim and desire…

it’s not that I don’t enjoy caring for them or being there for them but some day they will no longer be in my home and it’s me I have to live with. Me I have to love. Me I have to live for and they will learn to live for themselves also. What kind of role model am I if I show them to live for everyone else and be who others want them to be…

Social media…

for a while I limited what I posted. I know what most are thinking… really?! You post everything!! But I do not. I keep a great many things to myself. I write a lot but very little goes out to the actual public.

One reason I limited was due to the fact that I thought people may think that I was show casing or pretending to be someone that I am not as I did in my previous life…

To me social media is a network of family and friends who I would otherwise have no access to. My life is busy and between working full time, caring for 6 children, blending families, learning my new role and boundaries as a co-parent on both ends of the spectrum and nurturing a new relationship with a man I never thought existed out there for me not to mention balancing my health with new limitations and appointments I rarely have time for anything else…

Social media allows me to not only enjoy the celebrations of others but mourn with those who are also going through hard times. It allows me to connect with people who are like me and many who are very different from me as well. It gives me a whole perspective I would not have access to otherwise….

It also allows me to share my perspective and my life with those who otherwise would not have access….

family from across the country or friends from down the street. It connects us all whether we like it or not….

Now I do struggle with what certain people think of me. Those closest to me and I admit that I have blocked certain people who I feel have ill intentions toward me or who believe I am not who I portray I am on social media…

and maybe I’m not… are any of us really who we portray? I don’t really recall who coined the phrase but nothing resonates with me deeper than the quote “people are neither good nor evil but a little bit of both”

Some days the angel on my shoulder wins out and some days the devil… I am no better than the next person I just keep trying to do better and better every day and forgive myself for giving into that little evil inside that breeds hate and does nothing good for anyone involved. I attempt not to judge especially on a person’s worst day but I also no longer sit back and allow those who are suppose to be in my corner infect my life with their negativity and own self hate by projecting it on me…

believe me I have enough of my own self hate I do not need to shoulder anyone else’s with my own…

so love me or hate me I’m learning not to care because the only opinion that truly matters is your own about yourself.

So post your selfies. Post your sadness. Post whatever you feel is your heart’s desire to post and share because we are all connected and the horrible disease coursing through our society is judgement and distain. Get over yourself and just love one another even those who don’t agree or have the same viewpoints as your own. That’s the beauty of social media we are all different but connected in this age of technology.

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