Don’t think… Just swim. 

This month marks one year since the official beginning of the end…

Last year my mind was spinning. I didn’t know who I was or where I wanted to go with my life. I had this image of how I wanted my family to be and it just simply wasn’t adding up to all that I thought it should be. 

I was standing on the edge of a cliff ready to jump into the unknown afraid to take the first step, teetering back and forth before I finally took the plunge…

The fall has been scary, it has been hell, but I’m beginning to see that the life I have before me is so much brighter than the one I left behind me. 

My fears had me frozen, unable to move. Worried I made the wrong decision. Petrified I would destroy my daughters and ruin the relationships I had with them. Afraid to disappoint everyone looking up to us. Unsure of if I could do it all alone, what if I fail what if I end up all alone. What if there is nothing better out there, what if I’m the broken one? 

But still… I jumped… I closed my eyes… let out a big sigh and decided that life was better off alone if I couldn’t feel free to be me when I was with another… 

at some point while I was tumbling through the air I realized who I was, what I wanted and who I was going to make every effort to be… unapologetically me. 

And what I found is a new kind of family. One I never knew would stand behind me and love me for me. I didn’t know I didn’t have to do it all, be it all and know it all to be loved and cared for.

 I found me… because I found me, he found me and he loves me for me. 

Maybe we won’t work out. Maybe I’m blinded by puppy love. Maybe my eyes are wide open for the first time in my life… my story is still being written and my lessons are still in progress… I still have a lot to learn but there is one thing I know for sure…

You can’t win unless you fight… you can’t grow without pain… life is meant to be lived with passion and with eyes wide open…everyone is exactly where they need to be… some lessons just aren’t completed yet… I’m not afraid of failure anymore I’m afraid that if I don’t try I might never experience the best things in this life… just keep swimming!!

Don’t settle for ordinary when you can live extraordinarily!! ❤️

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