Clean slate…

There is no such thing as a clean slate…

You can erase all you want. Move forward. Change. But there is no little black pen to flash that erases the memories of those around to remove all the darkness you have come up from and were around. 

So instead you keep your chin up and you keep doing what you’re doing proving over and over that rumors don’t mean anything and they can say whatever they may but you will always keep moving forward even if in private that chin held high may shake and quiver and their words sting deep to your core, you hold it up higher and chose to ignore all the hate that is aimed at you and your fate. 

you have more purpose than correcting small minds who only speak of pitiful things and people’s lives who they know nothing of. Small people who pass along ignorant ideals and unsubstantiated juicy details of others lives that they’ve heard through grapevine  because “oh how scandalous” but know nothing from first hand knowledge because there is none, only assumptions and contrived ideas of little people living in a little world who are unhappy with their own lives and need the spotlight to burn those who shine brighter than their mediocre minds. 

There are no clean slates… only people who see you for all that you are. A pearl that started out rough and gritty who took everything life has thrown at them and turned it into a perfectly imperfect beautiful thing uniquely you and impossible to recreate. Only discovered by those who are willing to dive deep enough into the darkest part of the ocean will find the most rare and rewarding find of their life because it will take a while and you leave yourself vulnerable in the depths of the unknown to claim it as your own but the reward is the greatest of all. 

You must see people where they are, appreciate where they’ve been and trust where they are going because life is not a journey from point A to point B but a continuous evolution of adventure and discovery. People are not meant to have a clean slate, they are tattern and torn not shiny and new still in their wrapping. We are vintage and must be appreciated for how we’ve held up with each wound leaving a battle scar for which we are proud of. Some wounds deeper than others because the lessons of the injury were not learned from one strike or two but sometimes multiple lashes were accepted because we had not learned our lesson we needed to from it until it was deep into our soul engraved in who we are creating a unique patterned that defines us. Those who see the beauty in our brokeness are those who are genuine themselves. 

Surround yourself with these genuine friends who accept you for you and do not judge you for the sludge and mud you climbed up from but who hold out a hand and help you rise above all the yuck. Who see your light shining from underneath all the dirt and things that try to dim you. These friends help you clean off all that is not part of you and stick with you even through the moments of darkness that you stumble and fall back down into the pit of quicksand that tries to suck you back in. 

There will be people who don’t believe you. people who only see the darkness inside of you. People who want to shame you and shackle you to your past transgressions and never let you forget the pain of those lessons but those people need to be ignored, no matter how hard it may be. No matter how loudly they may scream and shout. No matter how fiercely they fight to keep you from who you are destined to be you must only keep your own voice inside your head and protect your heart because you are worthy and you are loved. 

You deserve better than where you’ve come from and you don’t have to earn peace or freedom. You have the power to control your own life by accepting all that you are and letting go of these things others may attempt to use against you. You find peace in forgiveness and that forgiveness starts with you.  Only then can you begin to let go of all the bitterness, anger, hate and hurt. Only then will you be impervious to their attempts to break you and tear you down because you’ve faced your own demons and you have won. you have control of the beast who lives inside you and no longer can it control you, destroy you or be used against you because you own it, You accept it and you have Slayed it. 

Only you can let it destroy you again not them. They have no power here. So stand up and own who you were and who you are because they have no idea what great things you are capable of.

 You will show them exactly how strong you are by showing them great unconditional love because anyone can tear someone down and make them feel small and ignore the struggles they themselves must be fighting against. It takes a true warrior to see others for who they are, to see the good inside and to understand that they too are coming from their own darkness and hurt. It takes immense strength to love your enemy, to realize we should have no enemies in this world . to forgive those who refuse to forgive you. To be kind to those who have hateful things held against you. To understand that life is short and the only thing worth anything in this life is to love one another even if they don’t love you back, especially if they don’t love you back. Be kind. Be generous. And be full of love. And you will always win. 

Fuck a clean slate. A clean slate knows nothing and is boring and has no depth. It is unable to recall all that was there before.  I’ll take my vintage slate that holds all my victories, lessons and love any day. 

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